Key scripture – “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye” (Matthew 7:3, ESV)?

Are you familiar with Christ’s words regarding a critical attitude? In the Sermon on the Mount, He asked His followers, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye” (Matthew 7:3, ESV)?

When you were growing up, maybe you heard your parents picking at others’ imperfections and forever finding fault. Perhaps you sat through countless Sunday dinners of “roast preacher.” Or you may have been endlessly criticized yourself and now cringe to hear that same attitude in your tone toward your children. Maybe in public settings, you struggle to simply relax and enjoy what is going on without inspecting, examining, and forming negative opinions about your experience. Or you might have grown up learning that it is ok to criticize the speck in another’s eye while there is a log jam in your own eye.

Complaining relates to situations, whereas criticism relates to people. While constructive criticism can have value, destructive criticism causes mass pain.

What qualifies as destructive criticism? Dwelling upon the perceived faults of others with no view to their good. Some faults we see in others aren’t even real—they’re perceived. Our perception of what is wrong with someone else is not necessarily accurate. We may be unaware of extenuating circumstances, or maybe the problem is actually with us, not the other person at all. We can become very critical of others yet be entirely wrong in our opinions. Regardless of whether the faults are real or perceived, dwelling on those faults is destructive.

Some people seem naturally positive, upbeat, and encouraging, while others are often critical of people and their actions. As you walk through life, these critical thoughts might ring through your mind: “Why would anyone think that was a good idea? They should have dealt with that issue by now and been able to overcome it, etc…”
Whether you lock onto one fault in a person or you get to the place where you can’t see anything good and right about that person, you’re wrestling with a critical attitude.

If you’re an analytical person, you can’t necessarily stop that general way of thinking; it’s the way God made you, but the problem comes when you choose to dwell upon your negative observations and you can’t set them aside. That is what leads to a question of your motives. It’s not criticism to dwell upon a fault you observe in someone, provided you are going to pray about it and pursue a solution. If you observe someone struggling with a specific issue, it’s not a critical attitude to pray for that person and ask God to help him. And if you have a relationship with the person, it’s not a critical attitude to observe a flaw, go directly to the person, and talk to him. But too often at this point our motives get muddied, and rather than talking directly to the person, we share the situation with a third party or dwell on it in our minds. Over time, criticism makes us hard, vindictive, and cruel. It leaves us with the unflattering, and very false notion, that we are superior. It is impossible to develop the characteristics of a saint while maintaining a critical attitude.

Examine your critical attitudes. Are you negative and harsh in your opinions of others? Are you quick to find fault? Are you an analytical person who gets carried away into criticism? What specks have you been fixating on in others’ lives? What log do you need to notice in your own eye?

Pray this – Our Precious Heavenly Father, help me to discern the difference between loving, constructive criticism and the kind of criticism that destroys. You told us in Your Word that, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24). Teach me to think highly and graciously of others, and to pray for those who are struggling rather than judging them. Thank You for how Your Word shines into my heart. Father, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). Forgive me for thinking my perspective is the only right way to see. Forgive my arrogance and pride, and give me the humility to see the log in my own eye. I do not want to be judgmental, forgive me for being self-righteous. It all boils down to this; I am no different than everyone else, I’m a sinner, who has been forgiven, and I want to be like Jesus was toward others. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.