Key scripture -“His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite.” (1 Samuel 25:3 (NIV).

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose between extending grace or operating out of bitterness?

Author Lisa TerKeurst, shows us how today’s Key scripture gives us an extraordinary glimpse at the power of grace. It is a story that could have ended in tragedy but was instead radically altered by the humble posture of one woman’s heart.

In 1 Samuel 25:3, we meet Abigail, a woman whose beauty ran deeper than her outward appearance. Abigail was married to a foolish man named Nabal. His name literally means “fool” in Hebrew. He was a cruel and stubborn man whose impulsive actions deeply offended David, the future king of Israel.

In 1 Samuel 25, we are told that David and his men were traveling through the wilderness in Paran due to the death of the prophet Samuel, and since it was during sheep shearing time, which was a time of celebration marked with an extra level of generosity, David sent Nabal a message asking for his “favor,” and requesting special food for himself and his men. The Hebrew root word for favor here is chen, which also means “grace.”

“‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’” (1 Samuel 25:7-8).

But Nabal denied David both food and grace. Even though David had done a great favor by protecting Nabal’s sheep and shepherds, Nabal responded with an infuriating rejection of David and his men. David, in turn, vowed to kill Nabal and all the males belonging to him. (1 Samuel 25:10-13).

Obviously, this horrible situation caused by her husband’s careless words deeply affected Abigail. I’m sure Nabal’s cruelty and foolishness spilled in her direction more often than anyone else’s. But instead of filling up her wounded spaces with bitterness, she found stability by filling them with grace, because Abigail figured out a way to give David not only festive food but also the kindness Nabal had denied him.

“Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you” (1 Samuel 25:18, 23-27).

Abigail approached David, the man threatening to kill every male in her household, and she quickly bowed down before him. When I read this story, I was taken aback by Abigail’s grace, which can be seen as you read her words in 1 Samuel 25:24 and find her asking David to let the blame fall on her and her alone. Like me, you might find yourself thinking, “How can she even think that she should own any part of this? She doesn’t have to take the blame, she can cast all the blame on Nabal. He’s the fool in this story. Or place the blame on David; he’s the hot-headed one here. Abigail has already had to wrestle under the weight of an unfair life. Now she has to step in between her ridiculous husband and a hungry, crazed David to take on blame that clearly wasn’t hers to bear.”

But instead of bowing and giving in to anger, cynicism or blame, we find Abigail choosing grace. Her giving grace doesn’t justify her husband or validate David, it saves her. It makes David stop cold in his heated tracks. It makes his men with swords in their hands and death on their minds, pause. Though Abigail is bowed low, grace gives her the upper hand. She refuses to be a victim of a circumstance that she can’t fully change. Instead she changes what she can.

She gives David food and respect and she stops him from making a foolish decision.
David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.” (1Samuel 25:33-35).

The humiliation of being married to a man whose name meant “fool” was painful. But it had secretly worked something good deep within Abigail’s soul. The more she cooperated with grace, the more her humiliation turned into humility. Humility can’t be bought at a bargain price. It’s the long working process of grace upon grace within the hurts of our hearts. Humility gave Abigail the greatest advantage in this life-and-death conversation with David, and being people of humility and grace will do the same for us.

I know it’s not easy, but let’s be humble enough to learn from Abigail. She didn’t excuse the poor actions of others. She simply chose not to add her own sin into the mix by reacting out of anger or bitterness. She made the choice to walk in victory, and grace will allow us to do the same if we choose it. It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time. Our choice to give grace to others, gives God the space to step in and rewrite the end of our story.

Pray this – Our Precious Heavenly Father, in the heat of a mess, You know the last thing I want to do is get humble. Instead, I want to get loud and prove my point. And let everyone know how right I am. Thank You for reminding me today that I need to let You interrupt my gut-reactions. I need to let the Holy Spirit control how I will react. Thank You for encouraging me to invite Your grace into every hurting space within me so that grace, not bitterness, will be what flows back out of me. Help me become a person known for having a heart of wisdom, humility, and kindness. A person who is more and more like Jesus – the greatest grace giver this world has ever known. I want to be a person who responds to evil with good. A person who blesses people instead of cursing them, no matter what they have done to me. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.